The Pittsburgh Pisces and Marietta Mammoths made a trade today, but the fact that the owners are the commissioners left the organizations without a recipient for a confirming email. This has led to mass confusion, hysteria, and rioting in the streets of the two normally placid cities.

The Pisces have sent prospect catcher Sixto Arenas to Marietta in exchange for Mammoths’ left-handed reliever Eddie Pineda.

Why was the deal made? Did it come out of boredom in Pittsburgh? Post-election stupor in Marietta? Hard to tell. In any case, the players are now packing their bags.